"Don't patronize me with lies; I'm a man, be a woman now."
I have been listening to the new(ish) Maroon 5 album a lot. I know, I know...the mastering was way too "in your face" and loud. That is not what Shipley or the band wanted, etc. But regardless, the songwriting and production is even better than 'It Won't Be Soon Before Long' and THAT is saying something. Every song has something lyrically that I relate to.
We are in Toledo, Ohio. We played a house show that was so much fun. The acoustic openers for these house shows have been stellar. I am excited to have had the chance to play with so many great musicians! Tomorrow is Chicago. I cannot wait. The blistering wind. The ice skating. The city. The pizza. I cannot wait to show my band a good time in such an incredible city!
I have felt a bit out of sorts and it kind of came to a head tonight. This tour has been hard. A few venues have canceled, because they suck. God has provided us tons of house parties to play and I have reconnected with some incredible people and I know that was totally supposed to happen, but cancellations are still hard. The bands we were supposed to be touring with have all dropped off.
I find myself handling a lot of things that I normally did not deal with while I played with Between the Trees: calculating travel times, crunching numbers and inventory, setting schedules, calling ahead to venues to confirm shows...it is a lot to work through and keep track of. It is business, numbers, and details. It is not all shows and rockstar parties. There is certainly plenty of that, but there is another side to it all. It is a lot of responsibility and work.
I also know we are starting at the bottom. No one knows who we are. I have a few friends who have been very generous, hosted house shows and spread the word and that has been a huge blessing! But I just see this endless road in front of me. I am not a teenager. I am a 25 year old man starting a new business and endeavor in life. It is a little scary.
How long will it take to get to this very vague, undefined definition of band success? How do we handle the current music scene? How can I maintain friendships back home while on the road for so long at a time? If I cannot even keep friendships, how could I ever maintain a relationship, much less find a girl who could understand my life (40 Year Old Virgin = title of my life)? How do we make it without a record label to distribute and direct us?
If the music industry is the most unsteady it has ever been, how do we come up with a business plan?
We have nothing to revert back to, except DO NOT GO INTO DEBT. We have stuck to that. We have a bus to live out of. We have our equipment paid for. We have CDs to sell. We are getting shirts. All this is good. We do not have a penny of debt. The band is supporting itself. It is just a lot for my non-mathematical mind to process. Budgeting and planning for a business and 5 peoples' lives is a lot. I am starting to understand why God had me work construction and do so much detail oriented stuff for so many years.
I know I am just rambling at this point. So back to tour life. Tomorrow, we go to Chicago. We will meet friends of mine there and hopefully go ice skating and have some fun on the town. I mean, all seriousness aside, that is what touring is about! We had a midnight snowball fight and got yelled at by the neighbors tonight. So we better keep the fun train rolling tomorrow!
Or today.
I don't know what day it is.
I will not pretend to understand the immense amount of stress that goes along with the uncertainty of touring, being in a new band, and trying to live all at once. For me, even in my seemingly stable life, I find myself feeling anxious about the future...looking at my part-time job income, the debt from education, and the uncertainty of future employment... and I still have time. All I can say, as even a little piece of encouragement, is to pray.
ReplyDeleteI was actually listening to a podcast at the same time as I was reading your post, and the words that were spoken were something like, whenever we are feeling anxious, if we learn to immediately pray, we will experience a life of peace that we have never experienced before. The Bible tells us to cast all of our anxieties and worried unto Him. He doesn't want us to hold onto the things that are stressing us out, because he desires for us to live our lives in the complete fulfillment of His will. Trust in the plan that He has for your life...He brought you this new band, and He has brought you though your tour so far, and He will never leave you or forsake you. He is in control of your life, and He has your best interest in mind.
I am convinced that no matter how difficult things get, you will make it through. Cast everything unto Him.... :)
Thank you so much! This is very encouraging right now.
ReplyDeleteGod will provide a way for all of this to work. He wouldn't have led you to this place unless He knew that you'd be able to pull through it. Things will work out according to His plan, and that's all that really matters. Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified. God will guide your ways and He won't let you fall. Trust Him will all your heart and you will be just fine. I pray for all of you daily. Good luck!
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