This Year In Review

This tour is coming to a close. It is the end of a mini-era for me. I had so many things change this year. I saw tons of places, played tons of stages, did a million things I thought I would never get to do. I moved to a new place and set up my dream studio. I got a new puppy who is the sweetest thing ever. I dated a wonderful, beautiful girl for awhile. I met so many people and made so many new friends. And now the band has come to an end. This year ran the gamut of emotions for me. 

There have been so many beginnings and endings for me this year. I know it set me up for what is next. I am so excited for that, but I cannot help but feel a tinge of sadness for the ending. I have loved listening to Between the Trees for years, and getting to be a member of the band has been an awesome time in my life. Playing some of the songs that meant a lot to me as a listener has been very cool. I am moving on to another band and will continue touring, but I am so thankful for this experience.

Aside from the band breaking up, there were quite a few things that fell through that were a bummer. I wish some of the tours had worked out, like the two The Rocket Summer tours we were supposed to do.  That would have been awesome. I wanted to do more of the theme park and college dates we were looking at. Those would have been amazing. 

On the other side of that, touring with The Almost was awesome. I also got to play festivals and hang with Phil Wickham, Relient K, Red, Anberlin...the list could go on forever. I learned a lot about the touring side of the industry, which was great. I picked up an awesome deal with Gibson Guitars. I got to meet the guys from Moss Amps and will hopefully be working with them in the near future. 

On the personal side this year, I feel like I have grown but I have found it hard to keep up with friends at home. It is kind of like moving. You want to keep in touch with your friends, but there is this strange disconnect. I try to keep up through Twitter and Facebook, but I know that it is not like being there daily. When I am home for a bit, I reconnect with whatever friends I have left at home and it is like I never left. It just takes some time. Long tours are the worst. After a month or two on the road, I feel like I need a solid week just to catch up with everyone back home. Obviously, not everyone is the same. There are some friends that I have gotten closer to since I have been on the road!

I have realized what people mean when they talk about getting lonely on tour. You can meet a few hundred people in a day and still be lonely. That seems to contradict itself, but it is a phenomena most touring musicians experience. That is why it is so great to see one familiar face in the crowd. I feel like I found my long-lost best friend when that happens! The people who you meet and connect with and spend time with when you are back in a city really are your best friends on the road. 

Being single and on the road is great on so many levels, but you also know that when the tour and fun is over, you are not going home to anyone. On the one hand, you have no fighting and no drama to deal with. Ever. On the other hand, there is no one to tell about your day and hear about her day. You never have to leave somewhere to take a phone call; but then again, you never hear "I love you" at the end of a phone call. There is never a special event you miss because you are out on the road, but there are never any special events to look forward to when you are home. For those of us who cannot remember dates, there is no anniversary to remember; then again, there is no anniversary to remember. It is the epitome of a catch-22. You cannot win. Or lose, I guess! 

I guess for someone like me who plans to be touring long-term and invest such a big part of my life into being on the road, it makes sense to be single and just deal with it. That will probably always be the thing I question...until I meet the beautiful girl of my dreams who will fall madly in love with whatever is left of me after I have destroyed my body rocking out hardcore for so long. 

But after the show is over, guitars are put away, merch is packed up, and every fan has gotten a picture, I lie down in my little bunk and listen to the hum of the wheels rolling over interstate pavement. I check my phone to see where the next show is. I put on my headphones and turn my light out. And before I put my exhausted body to sleep, I thank God for my family, my friends, every person I met that night, and for the chance to live a dream that only a tiny percentage of people will ever get to experience. At the end of the day, that is all anyone really wants. I was thankful to live this year with Between the Trees. I will be just as thankful to live touring with the next band. 

It is a wild life and I am living every second to its...wildest? Yep. Sounds about right. 

10/21/2010

Disclaimer: this is a rant. 

I am just saying whatever pops into my head.

I think there is something wrong with me. Or right with me (for who I am). It is no secret I do not like playing acoustic guitar. People tell me it is "organic and artistic." I know, I know. I still hate it. I am hard pressed to find anything musically I dislike more. It is so bland and unexciting to me. I just want to sleep when I strum the first chord. Or puke. I could puke, too. Straight bile. 

It is not just acoustic guitars. I do not have time for nostalgia. I do not have very much to remind me of any type of past. I have a ton of pictures on Facebook and that is about it. I have a picture on my nightstand and I think that may be the only actual print picture I have. I do not like records either. It sounds like someone had a bad guitar cable. I hear an old record on an ancient system and think, "this would sound much better as a CD or FLAC mp3 playing on my studio monitors." 

I do not care for classic rock. I could not care less about how The Beatles got us to where we are today. I feel like I am a fair musician without ever once learning a Beatles song. I do not think I have ever listened to a complete Beatles song. I am sure I have overheard one. But I do not have any interest. There are a few Led Zeppelin songs that are cool, but nothing I would listen to everyday. Or even once a week. It just does not sound good to me. The recording process then was not good. I know it is simply because of the lack of technology, but that just means I like new stuff that sounds pristine. 

Old guitars. Why? I do not care who played it or recorded what with it. Does it make it sound better? Nope. Does it make me play better? Nope. Then why does it matter? I like my guitars that are new. I think the "relic" option is cool, because I like the look of a well played guitar. But I am a clean person. I would prefer not to have someone's grossness on my guitar. 

I am not one to hang on to songs I write. If someone wants one, step into my office, sign a few papers, sign a check and go make it awesome. But you better bet I am getting writing credit and my cut. I do not think I have ever worried about a song I have lost. I can just write a better one. Same concept, better rhyme scheme: new song.

I like auto-tune. And I do not think anyone should record without it. It makes my synesthesia go crazy when the focal point of the music off key. I want to throw the stereo system through a wall. A concrete one. THAT IS RIGHT. I WANT TO BREAK A CONCRETE WALL.

Give me the next best thing before it hits the stores. 

Make it new and make it sound good. 

That said, I am allowing myself room to change. Someday in the future, I may be an antique guitar collector who scrapboooks while listening to Beatles' albums on my antique mono system. 

I admire people who love antique stuff and nostalgia. I read blogs of friends who collect records and old clothes. They have "finds" at thrift stores and pawn shops. I think that is cool. And I appreciate it because they have a viewpoint of life I just do not have. On one hand, they kind of drive me crazy from time to time, but I am sure I seem inhuman to them. But they make me more well rounded because I try to understand where they are coming from. I want to understand why they like that stuff. 

There is always something new to learn when I attempt to understand someone who has something I do not have. I feel like when I get that insight into someone else, I add a little piece of that to me. Every little bit helps. 

10/18/2010

I am obsessed with The Buried Life. I think it is a big part of my life wrapped up in a tv show. Doing everything you wanted to do just because you knew you only had one life to live. The "bucket list" concept. No one wants to get to the end of their life only to realize that they never truly lived.

The problem I have found with my bucket list is that it keeps getting longer. With everything I cross off, I add 2 more. The whole "quit my job and tour with a rock band" covered a lot of the items on my list somehow or another. I have seen the whole country a couple times, lived in a van, camped on Lake Tahoe, played on hundreds of stages, met thousands of people, played on tv, radio, internet, etc. But the more I do, the more I realize I want to do. I have some items that are related to music, some that are not. 

I have hatched a concept to cross off as many items on the list as I can, while touring with a rock band. But not just my bucket list. The band as a whole. Everyone makes a bucket list, everyone contributes to making each other's bucket list a success. And play rock and roll in between. That would make for some cool blog entries and more than a few funny videos. Sweet, huh? 

Obviously, if you have seen The Buried Life, this concept of documenting a bucket list is not a new one. I am not plagiarizing. I know where this foundational concept came from. Directly or indirectly, all our best ideas are somebody else's best ideas. 

We have made it through the past couple shows well. My caffeine headache has subsided mostly. I have noticed I am a little more energetic. That is always good. Nothing like Stevie with a little more energy! I am eating a lot of salads, good food, and lots and lots of water. We are up for show two in cold, gray Ohio today! 

10/15/2010

Today I was back in New York City! It was great again! Today is seemed more like it is always depicted in movies: cold, windy, crowded. But that gave me a good excuse to go into a corner cafe and get some coffee! 

The show itself was great. We had a really cool group to play to. I had a miserable headache though, so that put a damper on it for me. But the view from where I was playing was pretty fantastic! 

I think my headache is due partially to me cutting out soft drinks from my diet. I cut it out because my abs have started to disappear, and I kind of freaked out. I know I do not get as much cardio as I should because there is no jumping around on stage for 45 minutes every night. There just does not seem to be any time to exercise on the road! It is a little frustrating. I walk every chance I get and do my push-ups and sit-ups every morning, but that is not really cardio. 

I got a new bass I am very excited about. I need a good solid bass and this one is much like the one I have wanted since I was a kid. It is a reissue of a 1957 Fender American P-Bass. Instead of the band trying to sell off the bass at the end of the year, I told the guys I would take the as partial pay for the tour and it would work out really well for everyone involved. This is a stock picture of it:

Sweet, huh?

I am going to be playing bass for the next touring project I am involved in, but it is still in the works and I am saving some of those savory details for later! 

Until then, the final Between the Trees shows have been scheduled and are posted on the Facebook site. Those are going to be a lot of fun and I am looking forward to seeing a bunch of people. I have been pleasantly surprised at some of the names popping up on the event sites! Cannot wait! 

10/12/2010

I spent yesterday in New York City. It is such an amazing place. I enjoyed it thoroughly. It was a great experience to see one of the greatest cities in the country.

From Central Park, looking back at the city

I could live there, if it was not for the winters. I hate being cold. So Los Angeles would be a better fit for me as far as living. But I get the feeling New York will find its own special place in my heart. So many people, so many things going on, so much to do. 

We are in New Jersey...again. We are playing here somewhere tonight. That should be good. Another acoustic show. My friend Allen heard we were doing an acoustic show in Gainesville, where he lives. He was very excited. He loves that whole acoustic thing more than anyone I know. I am happy we are doing an acoustic show in Gainesville for that reason and that reason alone. When I got the show offer, that was pretty much what made me go for it. 

I am ready to get back in the studio as soon as possible. I will be working with a band called Paint Me Irrational in November and December. They are one motivated group. With the right connections and a little push, I think they could be huge. 

With December and the end of Between the Trees looming on the horizon, I am starting to put things in place for what I am going to do next. I want to develop and produce bands. I want to record. I want to market. I want to network like a madman. I want to tour. Essentially, I want to be a record label and a band. Labels are becoming more and more obsolete outside of the top 40 realm. It is not worth it for a younger, smaller band to have a label. There is nothing a label can do for a smaller band that I cannot do for myself with determination, hard work, and a touch of charisma. 

I had such a crash course in the business the last two years. I am thankful for that! It is going to help here soon! I will not even have a break between my last shows with Between the Trees and some cool things that are on the horizon. God  provides work.

On a final note, I am listening to Oasis all the time. I love every album. That is all. 

10/10/10

I do not know if it is the date of today or the tour craziness or what, but today has had me thinking a lot. I spent a good bit of time thinking back over the last year and how quickly my life changed. It has been such a year for me.

At this time last year, I was floundering. I had broken up with a girl that I thought I was going to marry. I was blessed to be working a great job with some of my closest friends, but I found zero fulfillment in it because I was not doing what I was made to do. I was dealing with an incredible amount of frustration. I kept saying I needed a change. I knew I had to do something, but I had no idea what in the world to do. I felt like I was always on the brink of doing music full-time, but there was a disconnect between leaving my secure job in home building and starting a full time career in the most unsteady, insecure industry there is.

I was so excited and nervous to take that first step. I had a million questions. Would I make it on the road? Was I good enough? Did I love music enough to take that big of a pay cut? Could I throw away my 3-5 year plan that I had for my life? Was I willing to go out on a limb and commit to live my life on the road with three guys I did not know? Could I leave the town I grew up in with my family, friends, and everything that was familiar?

I had a massive mindset change in the midst of all those questions. I woke up one morning with this crushing realization that I will only live once. I will not get another shot at this year. I will not get another chance to relive one second. That may sound silly, but it was so life changing. It was one of those realizations that motivate you to completely overhaul your life.

I found myself answering those questions with more questions. How do I really define "success?" What good is a big paycheck if what you do does not fulfill you? Why does everyone around my age have a similar 3-5 year plan doing the same basic things as me?

What if I did something different?

What if I decided I wanted to look back and say "I've done everything I wanted to do and I've lived every second to its fullest"?

What I decided to not let society dictate to me what "normal" life is?

What if I said I would not spend one more second doing something I do not love?

And there began my journey into an unconventional life.

Things that were absurd to me are a real part of my every day life. Nothing is ridiculous. Nothing is too far out. Money is not nearly as important to me as it was. I am still business minded, but I can never again measure my success by a number in a bank account. I finally understand people that I used to think were crazy because of how freely they lived life. I understand the saying "if you love what you do, you will never work a day of your life."

I want to build an RV out of a van and put half a million miles on it. I want to play music on every continent. I want to meet the pope. I want to go on a cruise because I feel like it. I want to own a collection of guitars and a collection of stories to go with each one. I want to see and do so much that there is no topic of conversation that I cannot add to.

God gave us life, but this is a short life. Is there anything you can afford to miss?

10/9/2010

I never know what to expect at these shows. We have had everything from the most laid back, intimate backyard set to a deafening, rowdy sing-along party. They are all fun. I prefer the rowdy crowds. The craziness. The aftermath. You just never know what is going to happen, but it is always fun! More like a non-acoustic rock and roll show...just with acoustic guitars.

So many people at the house shows are asking what I am going to do after Between the Trees. I have quite a few things going on that I can say I am doing for sure, but I am waiting on a word from a few other things.

I have so much to do when I get home that is "for sure." I am excited about all the things that are in the works. I am going to be producing and recording with a band called Paint Me Irrational (search them on Facebook and support them!). They are some very talented guys. I have an album I am working on. There is a possibility I will be doing some movie scoring too. I am also setting stuff up for next year with touring. I do not think I can be off the road too terribly long. I love it too much!

I applied to be a substitute teacher at the private school I went to. That just sounds like fun to me. I have been working with youth since I was in high school. Hopefully I will be hearing back about that when I get home. I have to go get finger-printed and have a background check done. Great. That sounds like a lot of time sitting somewhere and waiting. THAT IS MY FAVORITE.

Also, I am on Twitter. That is an easier way to keep up on the day to day. My Twitter name: steviebenz.

10/4/2010

I love the mountains, but do they ever creep me out. It is hard for me to imagine living up in the mountains, so far away from a big city. There are just too many places for zombies to hide out in the mountains. It is pretty up in the Carolinas. But it is not for me.

The show in North Carolina was a lot of fun! As far as playing, it is about as easy as a set can go for me. The songs fit together nicely, the set went smoothly, the crowd was great, and there were not many awkward moments except one broken string.

Today was a day off. We are in Greenville, North Carolina, home to the lamest mall I have ever been in. Ryan and I worked out. That was great. The hot tub was awesome. I spent a good few hours recording today. I felt productive, besides the fact that I did not eat very well. Wendy's. I thought for a second about doing another vegetarian tour. I immediately dismissed that idea. I do not want to tour and be grumpy.

Tomorrow is Virginia Beach, Virginia! It just keeps getting colder!

10/3/2010

So show 2 of the acoustic house tour is done. I am not the biggest fan of playing acoustic. I want to play hard and throw down. Playing acoustic does not lend itself well to that. I enjoy the small crowds and the intimate settings of porches, living rooms, back yards, etc. I love hanging out with all my friends. I think minus the acoustic guitar, this is going to be a great tour!

I have had to play some games the past two nights. That does not actually really begin to cover it. Friday night, I played games till 5:30 am. Catchphrase, charades...a lot of fun stuff! Aside from the rivalry of a bunch of Gators in the middle of University of Georgia student housing, we had a great show on a back porch, complete with neighbors coming over. On top of that, the hostesses fed us and it was awesome! Topped it off with Core Skittles.

Tonight was a lot of fun too. We played well and we are settling into the acoustic set. After the set, I played Apples To Apples. It was good too! A little more laid back, which was nice. We are settled into the hotel right now and recuperating.

Tomorrow is Boone, NC. It is going to be a rowdy good time!